EnigmaticSystematic

imfalling @ 2006-05-25T18:27:00

2006-05-26T01:38:20Z

Wow, what a day...

I don't know how many of you know my story..

So basically my biological father left when I was really young. My mother never gave me that much info about him, because she didn't feel he was that good of a man. Well I was talking to a customer the other day, and she was saying how she found her biological dad online, and found out she had siblings and such. Well I had two that I knew of. I knew I had two sisters.

So two days ago, I started a search.

I found him.

Not only did I find him, I found one of my sisters. I sent an email to an address I got off a reverse search. I also sent a message to a person on myspace with her name..

Guess what..I got an email on MYSPACE, and it was her. I just went from being an only child, to being one of seven. I'm the third oldest. I have 6 neices and nephews.

I had sent her a message that was really vague, just asking if she was the daughter of a man named "william a roberts." I didn't really expect to hear back from her, but this morning I got an email from her saying yes, and asking me why. I tried to respond to her this morning, but myspace was down, so when I got home from work, I checked it. There was a message. The message was entitled "little sister."

I immediately started freaking out. I opened it. She knew who I was before I even told her. She said she recognized my mom and figured out who I was. She told me about all my other siblings, and all that good stuff. I got a message about two hours ago, because she saw I was online, and asked me to call her.

I just got off the phone with my big SISTER. WTF. She had to go to my NEICES graduation, but when she gets back she's getting my other sister, and brother and they're going to call me. WTF.

I had so many questions.

Apparently my dad is the man my mom made him out to be. Most of his kids have moved to get away from him. He's really into meth, and has been for about 30 plus years. He also smokes a lot of pot. He has a really bad temper, and tends to beat the fuck out of the women he was with.

Two of my sisters live next door to each other and my brother lives about a block away. I plan on going to see them soon. I really want to meet the family I never knew about. We're all really excited about meeting.

It's wierd. I'm so scared and so happy at the same time. I don't plan on telling my mom about any of this..I don't really know how she'll take it.

yeah, that's my story for the day...wierd...

imfalling @ 2005-08-05T17:51:00

2005-08-06T00:54:48Z

HE PASSED HIS TEST! YAY ERNIE!

imfalling @ 2005-08-03T19:12:00

2005-08-04T02:46:50Z

So Ernie and I got back from San Francisco early this morning. Man what a trip. SO much driving! I put 1,500 hundred miles on my car in like..two days. Its okay though, because I got my brakes done, new rotors, a new thermostat and my radiator flushed. My check engine light finally turned off! haha. And the dude only charged me 140 dollars for it all because Esteban took me. :) The dude hooked it up! The rotors alone were 40 bucks! YAYAYAY. Anyways, so we stayed at his brothers house. I really like his brother. He took us to this really cool wine bar that he works at. We're going up there for his brothers wedding in Oct. so I was glad to meet his brother before the wedding. His brother is funny...he called us ghetto for going to outback. Apparently that isn't up to par with his pallette. hahaha.

We drove up to Sacramento on Monday so he could take his test. I dropped him off at the sacramento convention center at about 1 o' clock. I didnt really know the area so I just walked around the mall for a little while and then took a nap. I'm pretty sure he passed his test. It will be really good for him. He really knew his shit, so I have faith that he passed.

So yesterday we're walking to this Thai food restaraunt that his brother and his brothers fiancee love...and I totally jammed my foot into the sidewalk....(you know san francisco streets) it hurt...and then the pain got worse...and worse...and worse...So...Ernie carried me home...and we went to ER...I have a hairline fracture and it's sprained..( my toe that is) So yeah..I look like a huge gimp walking around right now with this stupid shoe the hospital gave me. It rocks.

Other than that...he finds out in a week if he passed...I know he did though.

I'm still waiting to hear back from Colleen about that job. They haven't made a decision yet. I am really hoping I get it. It will be the segway to my career. :) Once taht has happened everything will be done. I've paid off ALL my debt (that I owed before, I have a new one with my car....) I have a car, insurance....and hopefully a job that I like. Next will be my apt. I'll be moving into the apartments that Marissa owns. Angie lives in the one right below marissa, so it would be really cool. It's a super nice apartment too. The rent is totally worth it. It is a little more than I want to spend, but hey, I'll have my friends surrounding me. Even though Marissa is moving to Europe for 8 months to a year. It's cool. Plus..I think since Ernie will have his real estate licence..marissa said she wants him to be the apt manager when she leaves. So he'll be making extra money there. I kinda don't want to move though, too. I love where I am. But, I dont think much will change :) <3

I think I'm going to take Ernie out tonight to Celebrate. :) I'm sure he'll enjoy that. :) That's why he loves me :)

imfalling @ 2005-07-30T16:28:00

2005-07-30T23:33:10Z

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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You stupid bitch......

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Now you've done it!

imfalling @ 2005-07-16T18:39:00

2005-07-17T01:47:06Z

I'm in Chino Hills for the next couple days.

My grandma had a stroke on friday, which led to further complications. She passed away yesterday morning at 3:30 am. My mom called me at about 6:30, and told me the news. When she had a stroke friday, I drove down here, took a couple days off work and went to see her everyday. The first day was hard, yet better than the other days. She seemed to respond to me, and although she couldn't talk (she couldn't move her whole right side) She still made faces at me, and would nod on occasion. I went back Sunday, to see her. She was a little responsive. It just sat there crying, holding her hand. She would come in and out of it....and would see me crying and just stare. She'd start to hiccup which, to me...indicated that she was crying, but couldn't because she was half paralyzed. It hurt so much to see her like that. She would try and talk, and get frustrated that no one understood her. If you know my grandma, you'll know...she was a mouthy broad, and I'm sure it hurt her to not be able to respond.

The funeral is monday. My family from idaho is coming down....My uncle was here last week to come see her, but left wed. It's basically juust going to be small...My fucking aunt decided not to tell anyone she wont be attending her own mothers wedding. Probably a good idea, since she stole my grandmothers wedding rings right off her hand. Fucking cunt. I swear to god if I ever see that woman again.....

anyways, just wanted to update...

imfalling @ 2005-07-06T14:14:00

2005-07-06T21:15:16Z

I've never had someone say "I love you" and mean it.

It was beautiful.

I love him.

imfalling @ 2005-06-18T16:23:00

2005-06-18T23:26:00Z

So I was supposed to go hang out with him Saturday of two weeks ago. I got out of work way late, so I couldn't go say hi. Him and the rest of the boys were having a party, but I figured I'd see him that week.
Karl called me on Monday asking if I had seen him. I said no. I sent him a text asking if he was okay. No response. He wasn't always the quickest at getting back at text messages anyway. I found out yesterday, they found him in a ditch on the side of the road. Apparently he hit a curb, him and the bike flew, and..he didn't make it. Bobby didn't make it. I still cant believe it.

RIP Bobby. You were a good kid.

imfalling @ 2005-05-29T12:02:00

2005-05-29T19:03:55Z

On tuesday. I am buying my first car from a dealership! No cosigner, no nothing. ALL ME! I'm proud of the things i've accomplished this year. I've paid off everything. Now the only thing I will have is a car payment and insurance. WOO HOO.

imfalling @ 2005-04-07T13:49:00

2005-04-07T20:49:11Z

Interview!!
The Interview Meme: Rules
1. Leave a comment saying you want to be interviewed.
2. I'll reply and give you five questions to answer.
3. You'll update your LJ with the five questions answered.
4. You'll include this explanation.
5. You ask other people five questions when they want to be interviewed

imfalling @ 2005-01-03T18:43:00

2005-01-04T02:53:41Z

I absolutely adore my life, and the people in it.

It makes me giggle.

I'm caught up on all my bills for the first time in my life. My credit Card is almost paid off, (even though I keep charging shit on it heh..) My roommate is fucking amazing (I still haven't given you your christmas present..maybe tonight I'll just give you one half of it..I still cant find another half that I like...), and my day is going fabulous. My month is going fabulous.

And I love my mom.

Thank you dear friend, for making me laugh today. :) You made my day. It's going to be fabulous!!!

imfalling @ 2004-12-17T15:58:00

2004-12-17T23:59:18Z

I love customers who leave me a 45 dollar tip on a 30 dollar check. That's rad! yay for random nice customers!

imfalling @ 2004-08-01T14:43:00

2004-08-01T21:44:04Z

Your love is... by ChibiMarronchan
Your name is...
Your kiss is...	erotic
Your hugs are...	to die for
Your eyes...	burn into my heart
Your touch is...	heart warming
Your smell is...	amazing
Your smile is...	hypnotising
Your love is...	eternal

Quiz created with MemeGen!

imfalling @ 2004-07-28T13:34:00

2004-07-28T20:33:32Z

My foot is almost back to normal size. It's still purple, but the swelling has gone down A LOT.

Casey and I get to go apt hunting. John said if she doesn't want to stay where she is, she can get whatever apt she wants, and he'll pay for it. crazy. So at the end of next month.....:)

I get the next two days off. Score. Ernie and I will probably do our usual bar night tomorrow night. Ricky wants me to go with him to Hillcrest on Sunday, because it's gay pride, but I'm not too sure about that. We'll see.

Okay, off to change for work. Ciao people

imfalling @ 2004-07-26T21:40:00

2004-07-27T04:42:04Z

HAHAHA. I totally sprained my foot. It's big and purple and lovely. :) I'm a gimp.

what's even funnier is telling people how I did it.

I will post pictures from that night sometime soon.

imfalling @ 2004-07-23T11:07:00

2004-07-23T18:02:59Z

My mom says I'm the only person, who can fall in shit, and come up smelling like roses.

Casey and I are moving in together....and John Moores is going to be paying our rent. (He owns the Padres..just as an fyi) ARE YOU KIDDING ME. I WILL BE RENT FREE! I can pay off all my bills, get out of debt, and live PHAT!

OMG...I think I'm going to die of enthusiasm.

It'll be like living at home, but not.

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

OMG OMG OMG.

imfalling @ 2004-07-21T19:26:00

2004-07-22T02:33:47Z

I'm so excited about tomorrow.

I'm going to help ricky out earlier in the morning, and then he's taking me to lunch. Probably somewhere in Hillcrest, which is cool, cuz I love it. I love having gay friends. THey're great. He's the sweetest guy too. :) Not the best taste in men, but its cool. ;)

Then Ernie and I are going to watch the sunset....and prolly go dancing. :)

I cant wait til friday either. Ricky might come to that too. I told him we were having a girls night and he should come, so after his bowling he probably will. :) STOOOOKED.

I got kinda scared.....about my future, and what's going to happen to me in the futute. Turns out...it's going to turn out just awesome. I don't have an ounce of worry anymore. I smiled today, and I really really meant it.

I have the best friends.

imfalling @ 2004-07-20T16:49:00

2004-07-20T23:56:08Z

Freaking score.

My coworker switched with me on Friday, so we're going to have a girls night at annas house. :) I'm so excited. Chillin with my girls, drinking beer, and men bashing :) I'm excited. Casey..you better come over right when you get off work!!

Ricky called today,and he's going to stay later so we can talk. I think something happened to him this week,so I told him we can talk. He said he had major issues.

I talked to my mommy yesterday, and I am trying to talk her into coming to our girls night. How fun would that be!? I miss my mom. I think her and Ernie share part of a brain, they always call at the EXACT SAME TIME. It's wierd.

Thursday Ernie and I are going to watch the sunset on Mt Soledad. I'm excited. :)

imfalling @ 2004-07-20T16:48:00

2004-07-20T23:49:21Z

imfalling @ 2004-07-19T16:19:00

2004-07-19T23:27:53Z

Ernie and I had a picnic yesterday. It was pretty cute. He tried taking me to this bridge, but there were people there, so we decided we didn't want to be around people. So we went to this park, that is right near where I lived in Mission Valley. I actually didn't even know it was a park. It apparently was a mission, and now its a museum. It's huge! It was fun though. <3

this week was pretty much like last week. After Ernie gets back from his trip, I think I might actually get two days off a week! SCORRRRRRRRE. Not that working 50+ hours a week isn't fun, but, actually doing stuff would be nice.

I really want to go see Anna more too. Wow is she going through a lot. I want to help her out, but I don't know how. =/ I love her.

yeah, I think that's all.

imfalling @ 2004-07-13T21:38:00

2004-07-14T04:41:29Z

It's so weird to catch up with old friends. I found out this girl I used to be good friends with is 7 months pregnant. I don't feel old enough to have friends that have babies. She still seems so young to me. I guess that's part of growing up.

I've been getting anxiety attacks again. I need to go get more medication, as soon as I can afford another doctors visit. I'm gonna try getting on birth control too. Hm. Sometimes, I just get scared, that I'm not going to make it in life. Like, I'm going to lose. But it's not a game.

Lately I think I've been overanalyzing things. I wasn't for a very long time, but now, I'm starting to wonder. I'm ready to take on more.

Life has started, I just need to catch up.

imfalling @ 2004-07-12T16:30:00

2004-07-12T23:40:51Z

Yeah, so...kind of an eventful week.

I felt pretty accomplished after I cleaned the house, washed the dishes, and tried scrubbing the stains out of our carpet. I think if I get a bigger brush it will be a lot easier. Oxy Clean works, nukkas.

Talking to Ryan was good. We had a pretty good conversation. I like that he was sad that he couldn't get a hold of me, because he knew he could talk to me without "being judged." He was telling me that he thought it was cool that he's never been mad at me, because I'm "so chill."

I also talked to Johnson for a bit. I see Esteban all the time, because he's friends with Ernie, but I never get to see or talk to Johnson. I think we might hang out soon. I miss my big Johnson.

I spent all weekend at Ernies house. That was fun...weekend at Ernies...hah! I really enjoy his company. He makes me smile.

imfalling @ 2004-07-10T16:46:00

2004-07-10T23:47:04Z

So I finally got a hold of ryan last night. I miss that kid...

he got punched in the face because of me and I haven't talked to him inlike 4 months...crazy shit....more later...

imfalling @ 2004-07-09T14:09:00

2004-07-09T21:28:30Z

Someone should work for me today. This working 6 days a week shit needs to stop. Seriously. It's cool though. I work with cool people, and I'm usually the boss, and if I'm not Ernie is. Tough life. Yeah.

So I'm battling some options in my head. I hate it when someone puts the ball in your court, and makes it out that everything is your fault, and you have to make things better.....I just don't know. I'm seriously debating. I personally don't think it is completely entirely up to me. When people make no effort, and then expect you to come crawling....yeah I don't think so. The whole year that went by, when I didn't get calls, and if I did, they were very short due to being preoccupied....and then one little thing sets em off and all of a sudden it was completely my fault. CRAP. You know what...I don't care. Obviously my friendship doesn't mean that much, or you would have tried to resolve it before. We've tried to resolve it before, and it just ends up the same "yeah I'll call you, we've been through a lot of shit, I'll always be there" blah blah blah...It never changes. It was easier when we were younger. When other factors didn't get in the way. You're a different person now, and so am I. Maybe down the road, it can be like it used to be. But for right now, I'm not going to make myself feel guilty, for something I don't think I was completely at fault for. Yeah I'm partly to blame, but you're no saint. If you care enough, you'll find a way...

Anyways... Ernie and I went dancing last night. It was a lot of fun. It was fun having a group of black guys stop each other to point us out. It was cool. he's a good dancer. This guy that looked like Usher, kept watching me. Hehe. It's fun whenpeople watch you dance....:)

He's not coming over tonight :( Fucking Bebo... =/

hold on loosly, and don't let go.

2004-07-07T23:41:02Z

So, Ernies cousin is going to start working for us on the weekends so we aren't stuck there for hours. There is a downfall though. He has to pick his cousin up and take him home everyday. Which means....he cant come over. We talked about it, and on those days I think we're just going to go to his house. :) Three days a week is a long time to be w/out each other. hah. we're nerds.

Sometimes I wonder, what he's thinking, and wish that I didn't have to. I wish he would tell me. Kinda makes me laugh, because I hate that "what are you thinking" question, and I don't ask it very often...but sometimes, i really want to know.

I think it's funny that everyone at work knows..but he has no idea that any of them know.

I'm going to a gay bar with Ricky and Lauren tomorrow. I love ricky. He's the best gay friend EVER!

I miss Anna....

imfalling @ 2004-07-05T16:20:00

2004-07-05T23:27:34Z

Fourth of July was fun. I worked in the morning, and then when work got done, Eddie came and picked me up and I went over there. Casey worked at 3...so Eddie and I went to some beach house where Earl was. Hung out at the beach with some of thier friends and stuff..... Then we went back to Eddie and Caseys house. I fell asleep for a little bit...and woke up when earl got there. There were some people over there for a while, and we all hung out and drank. Ernie got there at about 9 cuz he had to close, and then we all hung out and watched spiderman 2. (yay for really good bootlegs). I had a really good fourth of July.

Last thursday I went to Lex's again with Lauren, and drank WAY too much. Those guys are a lot of fun though. We played beer pong again, and some other game they called something else, but it was what I knew as beer pong. Even though I spilled my beer because I was so drunk, and had to get a whole new beer, Kris (Kritter) and I still won...we always win. We're the best. :)

This week has been really good for some reason.

I have more to write, but I forgot what I was going to say. I'll be back.